“I found old TV shows that my wife used to record. My wife used to love them. I don’t know why I wanted to see them. I watched them for hours. I went through them show by show, episode by episode. And then finally, after staying up all night…I realized what it was that I was looking for. Every Sunday when she watched the shows I was outside repairing my bicycle or just smoking. And I would glance through the window every now and then just for a second and I would see her reflection on the TV screen. Laughing. Laughing at the same jokes over and over. Each time as if she was hearing it for the very first time. I wish I would have keep on looking back then. ” –The Lunchbox
I have carried this clipping from a magazine for years. It speaks truth to me.
I wish I would have sat next to you when you were working on your computer instead of watching a movie on the couch. I would have scratched your back. Just been close to you. I wish I would have spoke up, asked you questions when you told me that story. The one about your boots. Looking back, I can see now that it was important to you. I wish I would have hugged you tighter. Looked into your eyes a little bit longer. I have prayed so many times I would get the chance again. With you. A form of repentance. A do-over. A do-better.
I love you.